Genuinely astonishing that they managed to fuck up the Home Alone formula so badly. It’s the anti-Citizen Kane of Christmas movies. The kid is an unrepentant dickhead who knowingly steals a toy from a charity collection! Forget the dark fun of watching the menacing Wet Bandits get was coming to them – instead, endure the grim slog of watching a genuinely awful kid torment two people who are, albeit misguidedly, just trying to get back something that was stolen from them and really don’t deserve any of what happens to them. And none of the slapstick segments would work even if they were funny in premise because they’re all shot like they’re a fight sequence in the fucking Bourne Ultimatum. Just bloody atrocious. This movie made me so angry. I spent the entire back half of the movie hoping the adults would just drown the kid in a bathtub and make the world a better place.