“What are you, like her cowboy lawyer or something?”

“That’s exactly who I am.”

“OK I’ll come back later.”

This is the “The Room” of Christmas movies.

It looks like it was filmed on an iPhone 7 for a high school project.

Entire scenes have entirely dubbed dialogue for no conceivable reason.

“Hi Bob”

“It’s Bob, I need you to come into the office right away” 

The colour grading keeps changing from scene to scene.

Every single person in the cast is a contender for worst actor you’ve ever seen.

None of the dialogue even resembles something a human being would say, and it is all delivered in the manner of an undercover Martian impersonating a human.

“So were you born a cowboy?”

At one point there is just a 3-minute montage of two characters wandering around a shopping mall, for no reason I could discern.

I know I’ve already mentioned this in general terms but I have to emphasise: the male love interest is one of the worst actors in human history.

This is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. I laughed so much I worried I might die.